50 Shades of Tools - a Naked Story of Raw Power
Posted by Mark Hunter - February 12, 2015
Mr. Battery Will See You NowAs the van door slid slowly open, her chest tightened with anticipation. Gradually as her eyes grew accustomed to the dim light inside, she could feel her palms moisten as she clenched her fingers into fists.
In front of her, stacked to the metallic roof of the van, were boxes. Black boxes, blue boxes, green boxes, each nestled comfortably and securely, each containing an instrument of power, a tool of purpose. Yet she knew each one lacked something special, something that would bring them to life, threatening to dominate her with the sheer ferocity of their barely contained efficacy.
With trembling fingers she reached into the gloom, placing her hand on top of a box, slowly moving her damp palm across its lid, reaching tentatively for the firm latch, the latch which - once she'd popped it - would reveal the instrument of power inside.
While her breath came in short eager bursts, she flipped a forefinger under the latch, pausing for a moment to lick her lips and swallow before slowly easing it upwards. Her palm remaining in place, her eyes moved across the top of the box to the one remaining latch. Hearing nothing but the sound of her heart beating in her ears, fast and strong, she reached her other hand into the dimness of the van's interior, placing the tip of her finger on the latch, sliding it slowly upwards until it released its grip. The sound of it coming loose caused her to blink, knowing now that nothing stood between her and the dominating power of the tool within.
She slowly filled her lungs with air before easing the lid upwards to reveal the glory within.
"You'll need one of these if you plan to use that." She jumped, a small squeal escaping her dry lips, as the voice, rich with masculine timbre, sounded behind her.
Turning to the source, her eyes widened as she took in the sight before her. There he stood, strong, hot and powerful in his DeWALT heated jacket and work trousers. He held her gaze and for a second all she could do was stare into the pool of colour that were his irises.
With a smile he moved his right hand slightly, and that's when she noticed it, gripped tightly in his fist. Her eyes widened as she slowly scanned down his body to take in the immenseness of what we held there just above his waist.
"Oh my...", she gasped. "I've never...seen one as...", her words trailed off as she blinked at the glory of the power packed beast in his grip.
"I'm sure you haven't," he murmured in response. "It's 5Ah. His name is Mr Battery and he'll unlocked the power of the beast in that box. Just slip him slowly into the slot on the bottom."
Ok we're only having a laugh...
As it's almost impossible to ignore it, you'll all know that the film adaptation of "Fifty Shades of Grey" opens in cinemas this weekend in time for Valentine's Day.
So to celebrate, asides from writing the trashy piece of literature above, we're highlighting our own Fifty Shades of Tools that require the services of Mr Battery. Or as we refer to them the rest of the year, naked power tools...
We know loads of you are already packing a spare Mr Battery in your kit, so what better way to celebrate this romantic occasion than by partnering Mr Battery with a new naked power tool?
We've put together a list of the best naked tools on the market which you can find here. And if you're in any doubt as to the huge advantages of going naked on the jobsite, click here to read our guide (clothes are optional...).
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